Hank of the Wild Wild West!

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HANK OF THE WILD WILD WEST

He's Hank of the Wild Wild West
When it comes to horse ridin', he's the best
He's a wranglin' stranglin'
Gun toting hero!
Always wearing his Stetson© hat
Rides a horse to work and back
Like the Marlboro© Man
Except he's not a smoker!

His horse is his best friend
Who he always will defend
But he owns a minivan
In case of emergency!
He rides the Texas sand
To his apartment by the Rio Grande
And day by day
He works at 7-11©!

He's only four feet tall
He likes to shop at the mall
He is particularly fond of
Bath and Body Works©!
He collects Cabbage Patch© Dolls
He's almost got them all
He is a reputable buyer and seller
On Ebay©!

(Spoken by Bugsy Gabriel)
Why, I never saw a man show more determination
to get those Cabbage Patch© Dolls than that little fella
He even wrangled himself in a thousand Ebay© points,
Landing himself the coveted Red Star Ranking©
And then, just a mysterious as he arrived,
Hank rode off into the setting sun in a cloud of dust,
Cabbage Patch© in hand.
Godspeed across Texas, Hank!
Make sure you're back for the 12 AM shift.
I know you will.
Hank of the Wild Wild West never missed work.

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